London 2012: A Monument to Stupidity

The London Olympics 2012 is turning into a freak event organized by idiots, and it hasn't even started. Here are some crazy things that have happened so far:

A Crappy Logo

Let's face it: the logo is crap, and most people I know think it's crap. I suppose that Seb Coe and his gang wanted something that looked "cool", "modern" or "zany", and their accepted design is about the zaniest they could get. It's not even readable, and who on earth would want to spell London with a small l? It looks rubbish, and it is rubbish. The London 2012 sign with the swirling ribbon looked a lot better for a logo.

A Farcical Ticket Sales System

Many people applied for loads of tickets costing way more than they could afford, only to get none. Other people got more than what they wanted and are now selling off the ones they don't want. A whole raft of tickets has been reserved for dignitaries, politicans, company bosses and other "top dogs", only some of whom should be at the games by default. Now a whole load of other (previously unavailable!) tickets are being given away in competitions (e.g. the Coca Cola competition, which apparently awards tickets every 2012 seconds. See Coke Zone).

What was needed was a system with a limit on how many tickets could be applied for and an order of preference system where applicants could specify their first choice, second choice, third, etc. Then a (fairly simple) random selection could have been done by computer to allocate the tickets. For those not getting their first choice of ticket there would have been the chance of making their second or third choice. However, the people in charge of the games decided to come up with something crazy and unfair instead.

A Weird Looking Torch

The torch looks like a glorified cheese grater. This design, full of holes, will be paraded around the UK in the months before the games so everyone can get a good look - if anyone can get close enough, that is. The security seems to have been blown out of all proportion for this hugely expensive event.

Queer Looking Uniforms

The pink and purple looking uniforms (with their "school catering staff"-like hats) look a bit naff really. What was wrong with red, white and blue? Oh yes, it's too British for Seb Coe's liking. Too patriotic. Not "modern" enough. Which brings me onto the next thing...

Damien Hirst Olympic Posters

Well, they're not all by Damien. In fact, I'm not sure any of them are, but they're all pretentious crap, hence the name. A couple of birds scribbled by Emin (which a 10 year old could have drawn better), a splodge of blue paint that's not exactly inspiring (after all, it's just a splodge of blue paint) and a bunch of coloured rings that look like they've been created by moving a painted mug around a piece of paper. Is that the best that our "brilliant" artists can come up with? Elephants can paint better pictures than these people. I'm ashamed to be British. Can we cancel the games, please, or let France host them instead?

An Awful Font

the offical text font for the olympics looks hideous. If the organisers couldn't have thought of anything good they should have stuck with Helvetica. It's readable and pleasing to the eye, unlike the ghastly letters that greet you on the London 2012 website and all the other olympic paraphernalia.

Way Too Expensive

This dumbed-down games is costing us all £12 billion, a figure that could apparently rise to as much as £24 billion. A "trifling" £335,000 was used to purchase a single "sculpture" (actually a pile of rocks on sticks). I dread to think what the opening ceremony will be like. David Beckham kicking a football around, maybe? Or Alexandra Burke singing on stage in her underwear?

Many of us can't wait until 10th September. Then we (and a lot of relieved Londoners) can forget about these hyped-up games and get back to normality.

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